what matters the most

As trivial and simple as it may sound ,the most important part of our lives is the “ability to make decisions on our own”.

As i said..it may sound trivial to most of you,cause lucky you, you can do that and the rest of us (or them) spend their lifetime mastering it or at least trying to get a hang of it.That little ability : ability to make decisions can take you a long way..thats what will define your career,your choices in life,your path all of which will ultimately define you.

Not much of a superpower …..thats what you are thinking right?? You might as well be like” whats so important,so unique about this ,that this guy is making us read paras after paras”.Well,if that is how your thought process is then its probably because you are one of those gifted with abilities and take it for granted or among those who never remember  to remember that :its the little things that make all the difference .

Decisions are what shape us,and the ability to make that call on your own is what will make your life, and by this I dont mean life-altering decisions or decisions that will fill you up with a sudden burst of wisdom ..no…decisions  as simple  as how to cut your extra expense of 10 rs per day to whether or not to quit your current job….everything matters ,everything  counts.

For people (maybe like you and I), for whom someone else has made their decisions all their lives…its for them that ,this not-much-of-a-superpower ability is difficult to master (forget mastering it….trying to take one big decision is a feat in itself).Why do you think its that difficult for them?

Its quite simple…consider this..for people who have been handed all the things on a silver platter all their lives,getting one small apple from the market the first time maybe a challenge in itself…just like that…for these people ,blessed with overprotective parents (unfortunately),their chance to step on the small stepping stones was never given.

The so called parents took all those decisions right from their kindergarden to college (and then there are those few who think they decided things….people who dont even realise that they chose or decided whatever they did,only cause their parents decided it first..and then let ’em think they did..for them  what can I say..its like “a tragedy befell a tragedy”,sad) and let them go .

The most tragic part is when these people are torn between options ,to make decisions, decisions that count ,decisions that will probably change the course of your life…even if they have the freedom to decide they cant..cause they never have…because somebody else has always been there to weigh your options for you…and now..when you have a difference  of opinion and dreams and stuff….you have to let them decide for you…just because they think they are right and mostly because you dont have what it takes to decide…decide whats best for you…

Tragic aint it??

Hell ..it is.

To all those overprotective parents and relatives, brothers and sisters, please do try to understand …you might be of the view that you are making the best possible decisions for your children (obviously, you know whats best for them,or so you think) but in fact what you are actually doing is inturn rendering them incapable of being independent…and thats because you end up having a leverage on them. ..how???

When you make all the decisions  for your children. .or whoever it is…for most of their childhood and adulthood too, you take away their chance to make mistakes..and then when it matters , out there at colleges,at jobs and elsewhere when they have to decide something for themselves they can’t! Thats because they then look back for a support ,for a nod,for an authentication  from someone else,even for decisions that they have taken rightly. ..and then they cant get one (support,obviously )..because most of the time what happens is your view,aim and dreams vary from  theirs and obviously it will cause you cannot dream for somebody else..now can you??

Hence, when they need you ,you wont be there and they cant decide themselves for real (very few grow themselves and learn to do that..others just end up being stuck between their dreams and yours….and thats the saddest part of all)

So ,people remember, let your children,your brothers ,your sisters  decide,let ’em grow at their  own pace.let them fall..let them humiliate themselves ..let them get hurt..cause then ,when you wont be there to take care of them,”they themselves can”.

HOSTEL…HOME away from home

Anyone whos ever been a hosteler would love to be there anytime, anyhow..no matter whether u were bullied or u were the bully (course it never matters to the bully),whether you have happy memories of the place or otherwise…regardless of all the crap(sry for the lang) that you had to face..cause back there , no ones judged ,its a zone free of all the things you wanna get rid of.

You can be whoever you want to be , do crazy things and still make friends,its where you discover part of you,part of you that you knew never existed, part of you that always wanted to make a run for it.

My life was no different  (i wudnt say mine..it was ours…our gangs’)….we had a blast the 3 yrs we were there (except the last few months when some rules were followed) inspite of the occasional disappearance of money,the small fights between roommates, clustering of 16 people in room meant for 6,the department fights,the constant pestering by the lab incharges,crap rules of no phones and laptops (which we never minded..obviously ) and the kick -ass illegal outings. .. and by that i mean outings by jumping out of hostel windows that were grilled(obviously the grills were cut..if u r thinking too much).

Back then lazy was what best described our days…man was that good!! Sundays were full throttle on that aspect…brkfast (pongal…piping hot….if u know what i mean) followed by rest or some cards or movies and then die hard feast on biriyanis (our clg is …….famous for it)…followed by a good 3 or 4 hour sleep..follwed by tea and snacks followed by some activity (to digest the intake) and dinner and it was all hustle bustle from there on. .till early mrng….of course which lead to getting late to classes….life was heaven back then..

Now that college is over and most of us are stuck in jobs. ..we crave for all that..like real bad. ..life was so uncomplicated back then….

Well,thats that but thats LIFE..

The thing is we would never trade those days for anything …..even for another carefree year ..cause we all met each other back there…we are what we are because…we were there along with each other,thru thick and thin,in happy times even when we didnt all get along and we are all glad we did..i am…and i never would want to miss out on all that craziness